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This has been extensively discussed here before. Just do a search of the forum using the key word "quieter". You really should have posted this question in the hybrid forum because the suggestions here would apply only to the standard RX and not necessarily to the RX400h.
Can't comment on the oil but I have had better experience with tires. I found Goodyear tires to be noisy both on the RX and my Tundra. Changed over to Michelin on my Tundra and it was a huge difference. I will probably do the same once I need tires on the RX.