Interesting Dilemma..
05-03-17, 01:38 PM
#16
I'm curious to know how this magical marriage works:
When you travel together, do you split the cost of gasoline, airline tickets, hotel charges, shows, sporting events, etc.?
Do each of you request separate checks at restaurants?
Do you itemize grocery needs and charge each other accordingly?
Do the two of you file Federal taxes separately instead jointly?
Do you keep detailed records on usage of things such as toilet paper?
How long have you been married...and more importantly - how long do you think the marriage will last?
When you travel together, do you split the cost of gasoline, airline tickets, hotel charges, shows, sporting events, etc.?
Do each of you request separate checks at restaurants?
Do you itemize grocery needs and charge each other accordingly?
Do the two of you file Federal taxes separately instead jointly?
Do you keep detailed records on usage of things such as toilet paper?
How long have you been married...and more importantly - how long do you think the marriage will last?
Full disclosure, I'm not married and never been married.
In this day and age, separate bank accounts isn't all that uncommon. It can work all sorts of ways, like separate accounts plus a joint account for bills. It's not always 50/50 either. One party may pay more than the other for whatever reason.
Me, I pay practically for everything because I make a lot more than my girlfriend. She does pay from time to time but I never ask her to pay. If/When we get married it will probably be the same. Advantage of this though, is that I don't have to ask for permission to spend my money. I do sometimes give a courtesy text or call if I am going to make a large purchase such as a Lexus GS350 .. LOL
05-03-17, 01:38 PM
#17
Intermediate
It all boils down to this question...
If your wife tells you "no you can't drive my car today", what would you have to give to turn that around -- a kiss or a diamond ring?
If its the former, go ahead with your plan. If its the latter, dump your plan unless you are a diamond merchant.
If your wife tells you "no you can't drive my car today", what would you have to give to turn that around -- a kiss or a diamond ring?
If its the former, go ahead with your plan. If its the latter, dump your plan unless you are a diamond merchant.
05-03-17, 01:51 PM
#18
Lexus Test Driver
05-03-17, 01:58 PM
#19
Being that in the US, 50% of all marriages end up in divorce I would not be surprised. I wonder if the separate bank account is just a symptom and not a cause. Still it would be interesting to see the correlation between joint and separate accounts.
05-03-17, 02:06 PM
#20
Back to your case... My suggestion would be:
1. Leave everything alone and have your wife do what she wants
2. Same to you... sell or buy what you want
05-03-17, 02:15 PM
#21
My mentality is to approach every used car as not as well taken care of as my own, at the very least I know what's been done to my car and how it's been taken care of as opposed to being a complete unknown. If I were you, the switch makes the most sense, especially given the fact that her budget wouldn't put her close to a car like yours, and you'll still get to drive a car that you know until you can get into what you really want. Your wife gets to drive something thats better than her budget allows, and you get to kill time until a car you want comes out without spending a lot.
05-03-17, 02:34 PM
#22
Driver
Thread Starter
My mentality is to approach every used car as not as well taken care of as my own, at the very least I know what's been done to my car and how it's been taken care of as opposed to being a complete unknown. If I were you, the switch makes the most sense, especially given the fact that her budget wouldn't put her close to a car like yours, and you'll still get to drive a car that you know until you can get into what you really want. Your wife gets to drive something thats better than her budget allows, and you get to kill time until a car you want comes out without spending a lot.
Makes sense.. thanks for the input
05-03-17, 02:36 PM
#23
Driver
Thread Starter
Sorry to hear that buddy... I guess in your case 'wife' is not wife, seems more like my girlfriend or partner. Pardon again for my words, couldn't hold to say it.
Back to your case... My suggestion would be:
1. Leave everything alone and have your wife do what she wants
2. Same to you... sell or buy what you want
Back to your case... My suggestion would be:
1. Leave everything alone and have your wife do what she wants
2. Same to you... sell or buy what you want
05-03-17, 04:32 PM
#24
Pole Position
If by buying do you mean she just takes over the car payments or something more formal?
05-03-17, 05:06 PM
#25
LOL this post is awesome and so are all the responses. I also can't get over the fact that your wife is "buying" your car from you. From what I gather, you have joint bank accounts but are somehow able to delineate between her payments and your payments and the ability to save based on this. I'm married also and can't really understand how this would work but to each his own. I know married people that have separate bank accounts and pay each other back which blows my mind but seems to work for them. Just the shear thought of trying to figure this out gives me a headache.
If you are able to figure out some kind of math that gets you to "save money" (even though both of you are spending the same total amount of money on cars) and are able to watch your wife drive the car that you love while you deal with an older genesis, then go for it. Save up as much as you can and then get a car that you would love more with a manageable payment. Don't think anyone can really answer this for you as everybody's different and would handle this situation differently.
Good luck and whatch out for those babies, they'll getchya!
If you are able to figure out some kind of math that gets you to "save money" (even though both of you are spending the same total amount of money on cars) and are able to watch your wife drive the car that you love while you deal with an older genesis, then go for it. Save up as much as you can and then get a car that you would love more with a manageable payment. Don't think anyone can really answer this for you as everybody's different and would handle this situation differently.
Good luck and whatch out for those babies, they'll getchya!
Last edited by homeboyv; 05-03-17 at 08:37 PM.
05-03-17, 06:00 PM
#26
Driver
Thread Starter
05-03-17, 06:07 PM
#27
Driver
Thread Starter
LOL this post is awesome and so are all the responses. I also can't get over the fact that your wife is "buying" your car from you. From what I gather, you have joint bank accounts but are somehow able to delineate between her payments and your payments and the ability to save based on this. I'm married also and can't really understand how this would work but to each his own. I know married people that have separate bank accounts and pay each other back which blows my mind but seems to work for them. Just the shear thought of trying to figure this out gives me a headache.
If you are able to figure out some kind of math that gets you to "save money" (even though both of you are spending the same total amount of money on a cars) and are able to watch your wife drive the car that you love while you deal with an older genesis, then go for it. Save up as much as you can and then get a car that you would love more with a manageable payment. Don't think anyone can really answer this for you as everybody's different and would handle this situation differently.
Good luck and what out for those babies, they'll getchya!
If you are able to figure out some kind of math that gets you to "save money" (even though both of you are spending the same total amount of money on a cars) and are able to watch your wife drive the car that you love while you deal with an older genesis, then go for it. Save up as much as you can and then get a car that you would love more with a manageable payment. Don't think anyone can really answer this for you as everybody's different and would handle this situation differently.
Good luck and what out for those babies, they'll getchya!
It's actually quite simple to be honest. Our joint account is for the household/joint bills. Any luxury items which in our case includes cars are separate from our joint. That way it prevents any type of seeking permission to get a car of your choice. If your able to afford it then go for it, just as long as the joint things are taken care of. I honestly didn't think me creating this post would cause such a hooblah about "how can your marriage survive like this" talk lol. Me personally I wouldn't have it any other way and wouldn't want to feel like I have to discuss a purchase with my wife, based off that its just one account between us. And YES, you do have to ask if it's just one account lol. But hey each is own lol. She wanted to stick to a certain price, and I just so happen to have a better vehicle than what she was originally looking at for that price range. So in essence, I'm really giving my wife the better deal here, since she is dead set on getting another car.
05-03-17, 06:55 PM
#28
Lexus Test Driver
It's actually quite simple to be honest. Our joint account is for the household/joint bills. Any luxury items which in our case includes cars are separate from our joint. That way it prevents any type of seeking permission to get a car of your choice. If your able to afford it then go for it, just as long as the joint things are taken care of. I honestly didn't think me creating this post would cause such a hooblah about "how can your marriage survive like this" talk lol. Me personally I wouldn't have it any other way and wouldn't want to feel like I have to discuss a purchase with my wife, based off that its just one account between us. And YES, you do have to ask if it's just one account lol. But hey each is own lol. She wanted to stick to a certain price, and I just so happen to have a better vehicle than what she was originally looking at for that price range. So in essence, I'm really giving my wife the better deal here, since she is dead set on getting another car.
You behave as though your wife is someone that is detached from you - instead of a loving spouse that is 'equal' to you as a team member or life partner.
Last edited by bclexus; 05-05-17 at 08:34 AM.
05-03-17, 08:20 PM
#29
A family that pays together, stays together. 
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
On topic -- your plan for her to have the GS and you hold out a bit longer is sensible, right up to the point you say "wait for the 5GS." The rumor mill is abuzz that it may not come to market. Without knowing your budget, there's possibly the LS option as well.
For her, a used IS may make sense. Ignoring price, which car would she rather have -- the IS or GS? I recommend determining what is most desired, then working to see how close you can get to achieving that.
On thread but off topic -- if you and your wife have a system that works for you both, then more power to you. Friction and conflict drive marriages apart, and sometimes that comes from trying to cram your ways into what somebody else tells you is "correct" or "better," rather than finding and doing what works for you. The proverbial square peg in a round hole.
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
On topic -- your plan for her to have the GS and you hold out a bit longer is sensible, right up to the point you say "wait for the 5GS." The rumor mill is abuzz that it may not come to market. Without knowing your budget, there's possibly the LS option as well.
For her, a used IS may make sense. Ignoring price, which car would she rather have -- the IS or GS? I recommend determining what is most desired, then working to see how close you can get to achieving that.
On thread but off topic -- if you and your wife have a system that works for you both, then more power to you. Friction and conflict drive marriages apart, and sometimes that comes from trying to cram your ways into what somebody else tells you is "correct" or "better," rather than finding and doing what works for you. The proverbial square peg in a round hole.
05-04-17, 03:45 AM
#30
I understand where you're coming from. Don't know what everyone dilemma on your household finances. Me and my wife don't share bank accounts either. We been together for 13 years and married 8 years. If it works for you and yours that all that's matter.
I think your idea to wait on the 5GS and sell her yours make since. I don't think I could do it though. Lol. I showed my wife your post she said she would take me up on it if we were in your shoes but she wouldn't let me drive the car lol. I'm hoping for a 5GS as well to be released. I'm loving Lexus enough to get another if released.
I think your idea to wait on the 5GS and sell her yours make since. I don't think I could do it though. Lol. I showed my wife your post she said she would take me up on it if we were in your shoes but she wouldn't let me drive the car lol. I'm hoping for a 5GS as well to be released. I'm loving Lexus enough to get another if released.