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Rolls-Royce Chairman Fired After Being Found Driving Lexus

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Old Oct 18, 2004 | 11:01 PM
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Default Rolls-Royce Chairman Fired After Being Found Driving Lexus

http://www.thedailyfarce.com/busines...us_10200400018


In an incredible and embarrassing turn of events, Karl-Heinz Kalbfell, chairman of BMW's giant luxury Rolls Royce division, was fired today after being with the company for only 5 months, when he admitted to management that he drives a Lexus LS-430 instead of the old, outdated and ugly Rolls Royce cars.

"Listen, the car is ugly, outdated and frankly only old rich farts drive it now." Stated Karl-Heinz Kalbfell, "I was going to quit anyhow, but I'm glad they fired me first. I can sue them now for damages and get a nice settlement from them. Those bastards are outdated! They need to learn from the Japanese!"

While BMW searches for a new chairman, Stefan Krause, chief old fart of BMW will be leading the division.

"We are looking for someone that is very pompous and very rich." Stated Stefan Krause, "That person should also be set in their ways and not like change, since we really have not changed our design in over 60 years. We want to keep the same ugly look into the next 100 years."

Sales of Rolls Royce this year have peaked at 20, with a drop expected in the next five years as old rich farts start to die off.[IMG] [/IMG]
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Old Oct 18, 2004 | 11:26 PM
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Originally posted by Ditto
http://www.thedailyfarce.com/busines...us_10200400018


In an incredible and embarrassing turn of events, Karl-Heinz Kalbfell, chairman of BMW's giant luxury Rolls Royce division, was fired today after being with the company for only 5 months, when he admitted to management that he drives a Lexus LS-430 instead of the old, outdated and ugly Rolls Royce cars.

"Listen, the car is ugly, outdated and frankly only old rich farts drive it now." Stated Karl-Heinz Kalbfell, "I was going to quit anyhow, but I'm glad they fired me first. I can sue them now for damages and get a nice settlement from them. Those bastards are outdated! They need to learn from the Japanese!"

While BMW searches for a new chairman, Stefan Krause, chief old fart of BMW will be leading the division.

"We are looking for someone that is very pompous and very rich." Stated Stefan Krause, "That person should also be set in their ways and not like change, since we really have not changed our design in over 60 years. We want to keep the same ugly look into the next 100 years."

Sales of Rolls Royce this year have peaked at 20, with a drop expected in the next five years as old rich farts start to die off.[IMG]

[/IMG]
lol, u know this is a joke right? Funny though!
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Old Oct 18, 2004 | 11:26 PM
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HA i was starting to believe this until i noticed the old fart thing in there to many times, and the dailyfarce link. Funny stuff.

Do people think that the Phantom is that ugly. That damn thing is so freakin tall, wide, long,etc. It has a really cool design I think, and the lighting treatment is very interesting. I'll take that over the Maybach anyday. I saw Allen Iverson small **** driving around in one earlier in the year.
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Old Oct 18, 2004 | 11:57 PM
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I was thinking... there is no way that this is true... The Daily Farce sums it all up!
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Old Oct 19, 2004 | 12:16 AM
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wow this is hilarious man
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Old Oct 19, 2004 | 12:26 AM
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What?!! So this is all a lie!! I actually believed it!!
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Old Oct 19, 2004 | 01:09 AM
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Originally posted by joshthorsc
What?!! So this is all a lie!! I actually believed it!!
Na, if it were true it would have been the chairman of Mercedes
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Old Oct 19, 2004 | 01:12 AM
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Originally posted by O. L. T.
Na, if it were true it would have been the chairman of Mercedes
LOL!!!
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Old Oct 19, 2004 | 06:13 AM
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I didn't believe it at all...............for one thing, the Chairman would have had to fire HIMSELF. He is the highest ranking person in the organization, and can fire even the Company President. (This actually happened in 1978 when Chairman Henry Ford II fired Ford President Lee Iacocca after an argument over company marketing).
In some unusual cases a Chairman can be fired by stockholder vote or a Board vote but it is pretty rare to actualy see this.
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Old Oct 19, 2004 | 06:21 AM
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Hahaha !!
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Old Oct 19, 2004 | 06:37 AM
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ROTFLMFAO!!!
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Old Oct 19, 2004 | 08:01 AM
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I'm also pretty sure that RR sells more than 20 cars per year. If I had to guess it would be somewhere in the triple digits.
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Old Oct 19, 2004 | 08:56 AM
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Originally posted by mmarshall
I didn't believe it at all...............for one thing, the Chairman would have had to fire HIMSELF. He is the highest ranking person in the organization, and can fire even the Company President. (This actually happened in 1978 when Chairman Henry Ford II fired Ford President Lee Iacocca after an argument over company marketing).
In some unusual cases a Chairman can be fired by stockholder vote or a Board vote but it is pretty rare to actualy see this.
It is indeed true that the CEO of Rolls-Royce has stepped down. Here's the story from CNN.
http://edition.cnn.com/2004/BUSINESS...llsroyce.reut/


BMW says Rolls-Royce CEO quits
Monday, October 18, 2004 Posted: 1228 GMT (2028 HKT)

Only 485 Rolls-Royce cars have been sold in the first nine months of 2004.

FRANKFURT, Germany (Reuters) -- Karl-Heinz Kalbfell has resigned as chairman and chief executive of luxury brand Rolls-Royce Motor Cars Ltd. to accept a new job outside parent group BMW, the German carmaker said on Monday.

It said group finance chief Stefan Krause would take over Rolls-Royce on an interim basis until a new manager could be named. Kalbfell has been in charge of Rolls-Royce only since May when his predecessor stepped down unexpectedly.

"It was a personal decision by Mr. Kalbfell," a BMW spokesman said. "We regret this very much."

He declined to say what Kalbfell's new job would be and insisted his departure had nothing to do with the luxury brand's performance.

"Rolls-Royce is doing well for us this year. Production is stable. We are considering various new models, such as a long wheelbase version, a convertible or an armored version. Everything is going according to plan," he said.

BMW's goal is still to sell 1,000 Rolls-Royce cars a year, he said, but added he could not say whether it will hit the target this year. The group sold 485 Rolls-Royces in the first nine months of 2004.

Tony Gott resigned as head of Rolls-Royce in May. He had held the position since 2002.
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Old Oct 19, 2004 | 09:25 AM
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I started to believe this too.

Wouldn't be surprised if it was true though.

-Anthony
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Old Oct 19, 2004 | 10:01 AM
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Originally posted by Ditto
It is indeed true that the CEO of Rolls-Royce has stepped down. Here's the story from CNN.
http://edition.cnn.com/2004/BUSINESS...llsroyce.reut/


BMW says Rolls-Royce CEO quits
Monday, October 18, 2004 Posted: 1228 GMT (2028 HKT)

Only 485 Rolls-Royce cars have been sold in the first nine months of 2004.

FRANKFURT, Germany (Reuters) -- Karl-Heinz Kalbfell has resigned as chairman and chief executive of luxury brand Rolls-Royce Motor Cars Ltd. to accept a new job outside parent group BMW, the German carmaker said on Monday.

It said group finance chief Stefan Krause would take over Rolls-Royce on an interim basis until a new manager could be named. Kalbfell has been in charge of Rolls-Royce only since May when his predecessor stepped down unexpectedly.

"It was a personal decision by Mr. Kalbfell," a BMW spokesman said. "We regret this very much."

He declined to say what Kalbfell's new job would be and insisted his departure had nothing to do with the luxury brand's performance.

"Rolls-Royce is doing well for us this year. Production is stable. We are considering various new models, such as a long wheelbase version, a convertible or an armored version. Everything is going according to plan," he said.

BMW's goal is still to sell 1,000 Rolls-Royce cars a year, he said, but added he could not say whether it will hit the target this year. The group sold 485 Rolls-Royces in the first nine months of 2004.

Tony Gott resigned as head of Rolls-Royce in May. He had held the position since 2002.
Yeah, don't believe MTV. They rent those suckas. The Maybach is selling below target too. With more millionaires and billionaires than ever, this must suck.

It's the styling. The Maybach looks like a big S-class, the RR looks like a damn boat.
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