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I have all those setting, and the phone does pair via bluetooth each time I enter the car. But I have not been able to get the messages portion of the phone screen to be enabled,
I had problems with an Android phone, and couldn't get the Text or email message to show up at all. This turns out to be an Android 4.1, 4.2, and 4.3 issue.
I then got an iPhone 5, since Lexus seems to favor the iPhones, and after a lot of adding, then removing the bluetooth connection, I could see Text messages one time. The next time I got in the car, you couldn't see Texts, and the Email tab didn't show up.
I have a 2014 RX which seems to have the same Bluetooth and Enform setup. Lexus really needs to fix the functionality of the Text/Email reading. Cheaper cars seem to have gotten it right. Lexus should be embarrassed with how poorly this works.
So, sorry, no suggestions. The only suggestions I have seen are to delete the bluetooth device from the car, and reset up the bluetooth.
On the iPhone, you have to enable notifications on the phone. Under bluetooth there should be a little button to the right of "car multimedia". Select that and turn on the notifications. You will not be able to send texts simply because Apple doesn't have that feature enabled. As far as Lexus making this work, so much is based on the capabilities of the phone. Not all are created equal.
Also on the iPhone 5 (or any iPhone with Siri), you can use Siri through the car on the 2014 RX. Certain 2014 models are available with Siri Eyes Free.
On the iPhone, you have to enable notifications on the phone. Under bluetooth there should be a little button to the right of "car multimedia". Select that and turn on the notifications.
That could be the one setting I missed. I give it a go in a little bit.