Ordering Pizza in 2008

*********************

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID
number?"

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."

Operator: "I must have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it™s
6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive,
and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln
Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Email address is
sheehan@ home.net Which number are you calling from, sir?"

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the HSS, sir."

Customer: "The HSS, what is that?"

Operator: "We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add
only 15 seconds to your ordering time"

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat
Special pizzas."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that
you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your
National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "What?!?! What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like
it."

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local
library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then."

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, and
your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your
credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver
gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn
also."

Customer: "Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How
long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes,
sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out
getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little
awkward."

Customer: "Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?"

Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car
got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank
yesterday"

Customer: Well I'll be a "@#%/$@&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July
4, 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here on
September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge." "Oh yes I
see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional
Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke".

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from
offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this.

Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!"

 

and then the last line... "I'M A DIABETIC?!? Son of a b..!"

but one question... why the Pacific Regional Forum?

 

Quote:

"Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that

Commode sensors??? Now thats a good one

 

posted here cuz i have not been on the boards reciently... like a month ago... i picked up an M3 though since then...

 

lmao