salesguy

Allow me to add another fun one. Growing up my father used to absolutely forbid us from eating in the car. It's not like we had really nice cars (volvos) but he worked hard and didn't want food everywhere. Smart man (the older I get the more I realize that)

Fast forward to today, I try to get the wife to not eat in the LS. She gives me a hard time as if I'm on the one being ridiculous. ON THE SAME TRIP a huge piece of white chocolate from a clif bar ends up smashed between her leg and the perforated leather seat (again, wtf). Guess what I notice every single time i get in the car now???

Now my 2 yr old daughter will suffer the no eating in the car punishment for her childhood.

Kbueno

This thread is hilarious...but I'm glad I'm not alone w my wife's **** show...Let's see:
-backed into garage door
-dented license plate bracket into garage shelving
-curbed 1 Wheel a bit
-never washes car and treats center console like a garbage can.
-fails to tell me about leaks, shimmys, or other car issues that are easy to identify.
-Seems to have a bullseye on bumper for frequent rear Enders...sigh.

I could keep going but u get the idea. Regardless, love her to death and thank god she knows the difference between a Toyota and a Lexus.

SW17LS

I feel very fortunate lol

mjeds

my wife was this way when we met 15 years ago.

she is no longer this way, pretty sure it has something to do with hanging out with me and going to car shows and the track and such for 15 years.

FatherTo1

I forgot about that one! I check my wife's tires and pressures regularly (due to her knack for attracting nails and road debris) and I track her oil changes and other basic stuff. However, it drives me nuts when she fails to mention that her HID bulb is out, or her taillight housing is cracked, or that her brakes are squealing and near EOL. I already check the coolant, cabin and engine filters, oil, etc. At least help me out a little when your car makes unusual noises or the car takes longer to start than normal and is due for a new battery. For how much she clutters her car and treats it like a landfill, the interior leather is in excellent condition for an 11+ year old car. I really like the Bird's Eye Maple of her interior. That 2006 ES still looks very elegant and luxurious inside and not nearly as dated as our previous 2006 LS interior. Glad she's still happy with her ancient car.

TheWizard

I can add a few new ones.....

My last gf's nails (natural, not fake nails) were as sharp as Wolverine's blades when they would come out of his hands. Within several months of owning her brand new civic, she completely obliterated the graphics on the radio, climate control etc. The only buttons unharmed were the hazard button and the defroster.

When she would point at something, her nail would always hit the window tint and scratch/gouge it.

When she got out of the car, she would 'throw' the seat belt and it would hit the window, again damaging the window tint.

And for these reasons, I never let her drive any of my cars.

Oliver Enterprises

My wife can drive a stick. She does it every day. is she great at it? No. But I bet she's better than most men, most men that drive a stick I should say. But she does some very weird stuff. Like, she'll drive through a parking lot at 30 mph in first gear, engine screaming, come to a speed bump, get very close to stopping, and shift to 2nd while crossing the bump, and be lugging once past the speed bump. And other times, she'll be poking along behind other traffic in a parking lot when 1st is appropriate, and be trying to use 2nd or 3rd. And while going slow, she frequently shifts out of, and back into the same gear. I have no idea why. It's not like she needs additional practice. Her vehicles are a combination of a) a tool to get from here to there, and b) for trash. I find it embarrassing to go anywhere in a vehicle she has used substantially.

Right now she's driving a 215,000 mile Corolla with a 5 speed. Daggum I love that car. It is such a efficient tool. But since she's been driving it, the exterior has taken a beating. It has lots of dings, but mainly it is from other people, but she could park more strategically. She aims for every pothole, and every possible surface that has an imperfection. Blam! Right through it. I have gotten into the habit of closing my eyes (and repeating, "uh-huh, yeah, uh-huh") when riding with her. Because otherwise I wind up with the leather seat covers wedged up my crack from cringing at all the bumps, cracks, holes and any other obstruction we're heading for. I see them a mile away. I'm not sure if she even realizes the tires touch the road. And she talks to me so much when she's driving, that I can't even think long enough to lock in my answer to her previous question or statement before I have to start over on her next topic. That's the reason for the uh-huh, yeah, uh-huh. I don't know why she wants to talk to me anyway. She's just going to disagree and then get mad at my standpoint anyway.

And ... how can she hold such a deep discussion while driving anyway? When I'm driving, I'm busy thinking about a) which way to drift to avoid the next non-smooth spot, b) which lane to be in, in order to not have to alter my speed, and c) why all other driver's suck compared to me ... I don't have any mental bandwidth left to hold a conversation. So, with her driving, it helps me a lot to close my eyes.

The number of times she's driven the LS = 0. Occasionally she drives my Dodge Ram 2500 4X4 with 6 speed manual and Cummins diesel. When she does, she gets guys honking at her, and staring at her, etc. But she scares me in that even worse. It has so much torque at idle, you can be at a stop in 3rd gear, drop the clutch and it will act all crazy but it won't stall. She will slow down while driving it, and have it in say 4th gear, and try to take a turn into a parking lot. And in the middle of the turn in, we're flying, and she's stomping the brake. And she's said to me before while under said scenario, "IT WON'T SLOW DOWN!" And I try to explain to her, "once the engine get's below idle speed, it will inject fuel to prevent the engine from stalling ... and you've got the clutch engaged down below idle ... it doesn't like that. So it's injecting fuel to try to get back to idle. So even though you've been pushing the brake pedal, but it has other ideas. You've got to push the clutch in once it slows down to idle." And she looks at me like I'm speaking another language. "Honey, it has enormous torque, you can't easily force it below idle with the brakes. That's why it wouldn't slow down..." Blank stare. The corolla ... you can kill it with the brakes in 1st gear, easy. So she just doesn't understand. She has about ran over people a few times turning into a parking lot and right in the middle of the turn ZOOM, and BANG BANG over the entrance. She doesn't realize it doesn't want to drop below idle.

In her defense, one time, when I first bought it, I parked nose to nose with another car. I let it idle for a few seconds, and reached around to do something. It was in second gear. Without thinking I just let me foot off the clutch instantly, but had my other foot on the brake. It instantly started bucking and jumping, like a unbroken horse. Luckly I got my foot back on the clutch, maybe an inch from hitting the car in front of me. The engine never stalled. Scared the holy carp out of me.


Jason Oliver

jimrd

EXACTLY!!! So it's NOT just my wife! I am prohibited from using the downstairs guest bathroom (I have to go upstairs) because I "go in there, make a mess, and never clean it". Ok, fair enough...if only she would not eat in the car because she "goes in there, makes a mess, and never cleans it up".

mjeds

I always love reading these "my wife" threads. they are amusing and give great insight to how people deal with relationships, makes me appreciate my wife even more.

GSteg

iTrader: (15)

"That wall came out of nowhere"

FatherTo1

LOL. Yep, that part of the post was great and definitely relatable.

DJWLDW

Well our LS is the DW's car. I usually only drive it when we go on long trips or it needs gas. She loves cars and does not drink, eat or put makeup on in it. When it gets dirty she will ask me to get it washed. She likes it to look nice. While she will not park in the last parking spot in the lot she will park it far enough away that it will not get dinged. One of her favorite show is West Coast Classics and she enjoy Ed on Wheeler Dealer on Velocity because he explains and shows what he is doing. Going to miss Ed. Before we were married almost 49 years ago she was driving my 1964 GTO, 389 Tri-Power with 4 speed. She came to pick me up when I was still living with my folks. My dad and I were sitting on the front step about 9pm one late June evening, you could hear her coming a block away. When she came around the corner in front of the house in a mild slide. I ran out and got in the passenger side door and she hit the gas and started to fish tail looking for 2nd gear going down the street. That is when I told her Dad was sitting on the step and she let off of it but still had that take my breath away smile on her face. Yes she likes cars and appreciates them and I love her for it. Sorry guys to rain on your parade but some of us got it right the first time. She is still pissed at me for trading away her 1971 MB SL350

Dennis

Nospinzone

Dennis, I think you should give her your password and let her come on here and tell us about you!

Oliver Enterprises

Last night I was carrying 2 boxes down the stairs. One heavy and small, another big and bulky and was right up in my face. I'm going down the stairs gingerly so I don't fall, and at the same time, she's at the top of the stairs behind me telling me my opinion about something and expecting some detailed response about how right she is ... meanwhile I'm doing tangent of 30° x the coefficient of the static friction between socks and carpet in my head to prevent a fall.

Well, due to the weight, box in my face and other distractions, I missed the fact that I had one more step down to the landing (and then a 90° turn and more stairs). And when trying to reply to her and negotiate the next step, the next series of events must have looked like something from a Looney Tunes cartoon. The heavy box landed on my socked foot. And it hurt. Stuff crashing off the walls (because no wall surface shall remain uncovered) from me trying not to bust my you know what. And some (explicit) piece of furniture must be positioned on the landing to keep things "interesting." Sometimes I feel like Ralf Cramdon on The Honeymooners. Bang / Zoom. Oh well. Gotta love'em.

BTW - In those boxes were more Exhaust Vents. Would love it if some hold out (like Dennis) would take me up on these. You hold outs must think the Exhaust Vents make an LS sound like a dirt track racecar. But alas! They do not! They produce a very classy sound. So far so good. I'm loving the feedback I'm getting from the guys who have put these on their cars!


Jason Oliver

rgs92

Maybe I'm nuts but I don't think cars are for eating in. [ An 8th deadly sin... ]
I'm even nervous about drinking anything other than a swig from a water bottle with a good cap.