Need to vent.. how do you guys/girls deal with this.. if it applys
09-09-10, 03:14 PM
#1
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Need to vent.. how do you guys/girls deal with this.. if it applys
Nothing car related, but just wondering if this ever apply to you guys.
This happens quite often..
Basically my bday is near and I planned a trip to Hawaii for me and my closest friends. I would pay for rooms and they just need to take care of their own plane tickets. I think its a fair deal.
However majority of my group of friends are not in a stable job/career or still going to school for bach or master degrees. They pretty much have little money so it is hard for them to come up with a good $400 for plane ticket + food/spending cash. On top of their bills they already have.
I dont have a amazing salary myself, however I do have a career and manage my money very well. I always leave money for the fun things in life as I always wish to enjoy life to the fullest and not miss a thing.
It sounds selfish of me to ask them to just all go. As I know everyones financal situation is different, and its not fair and thats how life is. But its kinda a downer when all you wanna do is party with the people you care about and have a good time with and you cant because they arent in a good position to in life at the moment. I know one day they will be but lol im 24 young and i wanna PARTY COME ON!!!
I usually just end up going with me and a date, but would be nice to have the whole crew along you know what I mean?
This is one major event, but similar events have occur'd with just trips to six flags/disneyland and other major trips (bahamas, vegas).
This happens quite often..
Basically my bday is near and I planned a trip to Hawaii for me and my closest friends. I would pay for rooms and they just need to take care of their own plane tickets. I think its a fair deal.
However majority of my group of friends are not in a stable job/career or still going to school for bach or master degrees. They pretty much have little money so it is hard for them to come up with a good $400 for plane ticket + food/spending cash. On top of their bills they already have.
I dont have a amazing salary myself, however I do have a career and manage my money very well. I always leave money for the fun things in life as I always wish to enjoy life to the fullest and not miss a thing.
It sounds selfish of me to ask them to just all go. As I know everyones financal situation is different, and its not fair and thats how life is. But its kinda a downer when all you wanna do is party with the people you care about and have a good time with and you cant because they arent in a good position to in life at the moment. I know one day they will be but lol im 24 young and i wanna PARTY COME ON!!!
I usually just end up going with me and a date, but would be nice to have the whole crew along you know what I mean?
This is one major event, but similar events have occur'd with just trips to six flags/disneyland and other major trips (bahamas, vegas).
09-09-10, 03:43 PM
#2
vegas is closer and cheeper? maybe somewhere stateside would be cheeper and easier for everone involved. and yes i know exactly how you feel. been there done that, still have to deal with it and i am older than you. some people just dont know how to money manage and plan ahead. although this is hard times for ALOT of peeps. good luck bro
09-09-10, 03:48 PM
#3
i dont think its selfish at all. u just wanna hang with your closest friends. but i wouldnt get too worked up over their not being able to shell out relatively major dough for a trip to hawaii. ive always thought a weekend getaway to somewhere not too far in terms of driving might be the best plan. some cant afford it with school and bills, and thats totally respectable because they're saving up for something they want later on.
ive been in the same predicament with my friends. its not that they cant work....they're too consumed with the computer games and spending every dime they get from random jobs. i dont knock them that they dont have any dough for special events, cuz what truly matters is that we're hangin out when we get the chance. time will become more valuable, even more so than where we chill- although for a bday thing, i think it might be best to see what's comfortable with everyone in terms of cost and location. best of luck, and happy early bday!
ive been in the same predicament with my friends. its not that they cant work....they're too consumed with the computer games and spending every dime they get from random jobs. i dont knock them that they dont have any dough for special events, cuz what truly matters is that we're hangin out when we get the chance. time will become more valuable, even more so than where we chill- although for a bday thing, i think it might be best to see what's comfortable with everyone in terms of cost and location. best of luck, and happy early bday!
09-09-10, 03:54 PM
#4
It's not selfish. You NEED to party on your birthday; that's a given.
However, time and money are difficult to come by. It's best to make sure that you give your friends plenty of advanced notice to ask for the time off (My experience: a week-long trip needs 6+ months of advanced notice and planning and time off of work/school requests; 2-3 day weekend trips take 3-4 months notice; a single day trip takes about 1-2 months notice), and give an estimated budget that people need to have (depending on the location, I tell in advance the cost of travel, lodging, and food).
I see that you have a great plan that anyone would go to. Just make sure that you give everyone plenty of time to plan it, and plenty of time to save up for it.
However, time and money are difficult to come by. It's best to make sure that you give your friends plenty of advanced notice to ask for the time off (My experience: a week-long trip needs 6+ months of advanced notice and planning and time off of work/school requests; 2-3 day weekend trips take 3-4 months notice; a single day trip takes about 1-2 months notice), and give an estimated budget that people need to have (depending on the location, I tell in advance the cost of travel, lodging, and food).
I see that you have a great plan that anyone would go to. Just make sure that you give everyone plenty of time to plan it, and plenty of time to save up for it.
09-09-10, 04:30 PM
#6
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It's very selfish. $400 is a LOT for a 20-something to spend in this time of high unemployment and uncertainty. It's not 2006 anymore. If you're so good at managing your money and really want folks to come join you, at least help pay for their tickets too. It'll get more of your friends to join you on the Island.
09-09-10, 04:38 PM
#7
It's very selfish. $400 is a LOT for a 20-something to spend in this time of high unemployment and uncertainty. It's not 2006 anymore. If you're so good at managing your money and really want folks to come join you, at least help pay for their tickets too. It'll get more of your friends to join you on the Island.
Selfish would be... him asking for everyone to pay for himself.
IMO $400 is a super small amount... maybe its cuz im not the average 20 year old who goes out wasting money on booze (or at least paying people to buy them booze) random stuff n what not.
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09-09-10, 04:57 PM
#8
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vegas is closer and cheeper? maybe somewhere stateside would be cheeper and easier for everone involved. and yes i know exactly how you feel. been there done that, still have to deal with it and i am older than you. some people just dont know how to money manage and plan ahead. although this is hard times for ALOT of peeps. good luck bro
i dont think its selfish at all. u just wanna hang with your closest friends. but i wouldnt get too worked up over their not being able to shell out relatively major dough for a trip to hawaii. ive always thought a weekend getaway to somewhere not too far in terms of driving might be the best plan. some cant afford it with school and bills, and thats totally respectable because they're saving up for something they want later on.
ive been in the same predicament with my friends. its not that they cant work....they're too consumed with the computer games and spending every dime they get from random jobs. i dont knock them that they dont have any dough for special events, cuz what truly matters is that we're hangin out when we get the chance. time will become more valuable, even more so than where we chill- although for a bday thing, i think it might be best to see what's comfortable with everyone in terms of cost and location. best of luck, and happy early bday!
ive been in the same predicament with my friends. its not that they cant work....they're too consumed with the computer games and spending every dime they get from random jobs. i dont knock them that they dont have any dough for special events, cuz what truly matters is that we're hangin out when we get the chance. time will become more valuable, even more so than where we chill- although for a bday thing, i think it might be best to see what's comfortable with everyone in terms of cost and location. best of luck, and happy early bday!
It's not selfish. You NEED to party on your birthday; that's a given.
However, time and money are difficult to come by. It's best to make sure that you give your friends plenty of advanced notice to ask for the time off (My experience: a week-long trip needs 6+ months of advanced notice and planning and time off of work/school requests; 2-3 day weekend trips take 3-4 months notice; a single day trip takes about 1-2 months notice), and give an estimated budget that people need to have (depending on the location, I tell in advance the cost of travel, lodging, and food).
I see that you have a great plan that anyone would go to. Just make sure that you give everyone plenty of time to plan it, and plenty of time to save up for it.
However, time and money are difficult to come by. It's best to make sure that you give your friends plenty of advanced notice to ask for the time off (My experience: a week-long trip needs 6+ months of advanced notice and planning and time off of work/school requests; 2-3 day weekend trips take 3-4 months notice; a single day trip takes about 1-2 months notice), and give an estimated budget that people need to have (depending on the location, I tell in advance the cost of travel, lodging, and food).
I see that you have a great plan that anyone would go to. Just make sure that you give everyone plenty of time to plan it, and plenty of time to save up for it.
It's very selfish. $400 is a LOT for a 20-something to spend in this time of high unemployment and uncertainty. It's not 2006 anymore. If you're so good at managing your money and really want folks to come join you, at least help pay for their tickets too. It'll get more of your friends to join you on the Island.
how is it selfish?? hes already paying for room... plus $400 is nothing compared to how much he is going to spend ALONE.
Selfish would be... him asking for everyone to pay for himself.
IMO $400 is a super small amount... maybe its cuz im not the average 20 year old who goes out wasting money on booze (or at least paying people to buy them booze) random stuff n what not.
Selfish would be... him asking for everyone to pay for himself.
IMO $400 is a super small amount... maybe its cuz im not the average 20 year old who goes out wasting money on booze (or at least paying people to buy them booze) random stuff n what not.
Just depressing to figure it out to make everyone happy lol.
09-09-10, 06:25 PM
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Not quite selfish, but I don't think you quite "understand" that others just don't have the money or can't afford it at the moment. While you can afford $2,000 to room everyone, and $400 compared to $2,000 doesn't seem like a whole lot, I have a feeling that some of your friends might find $200 hard to cough up at the moment. You have a birthday every year, 25 isn't something special, and unless your friends are already quite well off, than asking them to go to Hawaii is quite an odd thing to do. If this was a wedding, where these are supposed to be "once in a lifetime" things, I think your friends would beg/borrow/steal the money, but it just doesn't in that categoery.
09-09-10, 07:27 PM
#10
Well, as a graduate student and probably closer to your friends' predicaments, I would say that while I don't find you to be selfish, I do think you need to understand their situation better. Every single dollar I spend from here until the end of medical school is on loan, so taking out 400$ to celebrate your birthday in Hawaii equals me spending 5-600$ to pay it back. That is, if I can even find 400$ in my budget to spend. Not only that, but even if I had 400$ to spend, there simply is NO TIME in my school year to up and go to Hawaii for a week.
I'm sure your friends really care about you and what you've done is already pretty extraordinary but coming from their side of the story I'd say feel more sympathy for your buddies. Being able to spend that much time and money on your 25th birthday is already a blessing compared to what we'd be doing for our own birthdays (probably studying for a test or something and eating a cake from Ralphs; that's how I spent my last birthday lol)
I'm sure your friends really care about you and what you've done is already pretty extraordinary but coming from their side of the story I'd say feel more sympathy for your buddies. Being able to spend that much time and money on your 25th birthday is already a blessing compared to what we'd be doing for our own birthdays (probably studying for a test or something and eating a cake from Ralphs; that's how I spent my last birthday lol)
Last edited by knihc2008; 09-09-10 at 07:31 PM.
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09-10-10, 12:43 AM
#13
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Didn't read it fully but I think I know what your talking about. I'm not rich but I'm not poor I guess. Seems as though most people I know are not in my situation. When I go out or do things I always like to do it right and go big, especially when it comes to a birthday or special occasion. I don't like it when people come along knowing the cost to do things but they have no money or much. I don't mind helping people out but I'm not rich enough to support a charity for my friends. Then again I don't call many people my friends but I do have a lot of acquaintances. My birthday is coming up in Dec along with NYE and I plan to go to Vegas again this year, went once or was it twice? this year already. There are some people I would like to go but I know some of them can't afford it. I put it out there that this trip will cost money and money is require. At least enough to take care of yourself. Good luck to your birthday.
09-10-10, 09:46 AM
#14
Tone it down and do something more local. Vegas is overdone. San Diego and Palm Springs would have been better alternatives. That way, people can arrive late or leave early if they have to, instead of being stuck on an island for a definitive amount of time...
. nothing beats punching holes and blowing up watermelon on a private range that you rented out.