Features and Cars That Make No Sense (Photos)
Features and Cars That Make No Sense
1. Not Your Ordinary List, Brace Yourself
This is what we call a dangerous assignment -- to produce a very specific list of features, that "make no sense" on cars.
Please be warned -- this is not a list for lane-departure and paddle-shifter haters -- this is the real deal.
It might get ugly, it will get personal, and it just might make sense ... on some level.
So here goes, numbers One and Two on the list -- the hideous and unbecoming doors that Porsche hung on the helpless Carerra before re-naming it the Panamera.
Who takes a classic two-door coupe, one with more than 50 years of heritage and adoration, and treats it like this?Contort the proportions to allow for a pair of rear doors, stuff the biggest engine you have under the hood, and boom -- behold the 4,500 lb. Panamera GT.
Jeremy Clarkson once compared the Panamera to a "vaginal wart," and look what happened to him.
I'm not saying it can't be done, it can see the four-door, Aston Martin, here.
2. Convertible Audio Adjustment
Although I'm sure it's neither the first or only one of its kind, let's take a minute to consider the "self-optimizing" Mark Levinson Audio system on the SC 430 convertible. Not only does this system sound great with the top up, it's been designed to "self-optimize performance for top-up or top-down driving."
This strikes me as nonsense. We put the top town to take the outside in, so why chase the parameters of a top-up cabin when choosing to put the top down?
Lowering the top triggers an onboard computer to cancel out the very noise you wanted, nonsense. Up next, an entire brand of nonsense.
3. Smart Cars That Make No Sense
Ok, let's just be fair here, Smart Cars make no sense.
We pretend to be ok with the idea, the proportions, but really we're not. It's not Ok, size matters.
We laugh inside when we see them on the road, or pointing to the sky on Instagram and Twitter.
Face it; if a pack of wild millennials has the strength to put your car on its ass, then maybe it's not so smart after all.
Get your Mini on, get into a Prius ... anything ... but get over these two Smart Cars -- before it's too late.
4. Murano Convertible -- No Comment Needed
I remember the first time I saw it.
I believe it was the LA auto show. Turqoiuse, yes -- Turquoise on the turntable, with tan leather trim, a Nissan Murano Convertible.
Is this for the trendy soccer mom with everything? Or nothing left to lose?
It looks like a cry for help. The Murano is a capable crossover, but in convertible form, it's highly compromised, overweight and caught in an endless struggle for a true identity.
5. The Car Phone
There once was a time, not that many years ago, when there was no such thing as a "mobile" or "smart" phone.
In those early days of the "car phone," everything worked best when hosted by an automobile, for electric power and a place to mount that all-to-prominent cell phone antenna.
Those were the days -- when pagers, car phones, and CD changers were considered high-tech.
But today, the concept has changed entirely. More than a simple host for battery power, automobiles have now become virtual "accessories" in this era of the smartphone -- four-wheeled, full-powered, touch-screen with microphone accessories.
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