Francis K

Not many people know that the manufacturer of Land Rovers attempted
to market a computer. Why did they stop? They could not find a way to
get it to leak oil! A Land Rover doesn't leak oil, it marks its
territory. Did you hear about the man whose Land Rover didn't
leak oil? The factory took it back and worked on it until it did.

Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and
asked the owner "How can you tell one switch from another at night?
They all look the same. " "He replied, it does not matter which one
you use, nothing happens !"

The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark." Lucas is the patent holder
for the short circuit. Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent
wiper. Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp. The three
position Lucas switch - Dim, Flicker and Off. The Original Anti-Theft
Device - Lucas Electrics. "I have had a Lucas pacemaker for years and
have never had any trou... If Lucas made guns, wars would not start.

Back in the 70's, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and
began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they
offered which did not SUKtion. Q: Why do the British drink warm beer? A:
Because Lucas makes their refrigerators

Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone. Thomas Edison invented
the Light Bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit. Recommended
procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: Check the
position of the stars,kill a chicken and walk three times clockwise
around your car chanting:" Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your
unworthy servant.."


funny funny