Sounds normal. And it makes it very hard to drive smoothly in stop-and-go bumper-to-bumper traffic. (I often put the car in snow mode under those conditions, which blunts acceleration but the shifting feels smoother and more intuitive)

 

 

Within your 9 months of ownership, have you disconnected the battery for at least 20 minutes to force a reset of the trans-shift points? If not, the vehicle to working off of how the previous owner drove the car...not you. This reset has helped many members with similar "shifting issues".

Post your results after doing this.

 

I've only used snow mode once, doesn't it take off in 2nd gear? If so, this may not be the best for transmission life.

For the record soft shifts are ok as long the engine doesn't flare or slip. Running reduced line pressure reduces the internal temperature as long as that reduced pressure does not allow slippage which will raise the temperature.