GTRisms
Thread Starter
Driver
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 109
Likes: 0
From: Ohio
GTRisms
Hey folks... been away / busy for a while.
Great reads and discussions on the board.
Here's my contribution..................
Nissan GTR' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Nissan GTR can kill him and take it.
Nissan GTR once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Nissan GTR doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
If you ask Nissan GTR what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Nissan GTR instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
Nissan GTR sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Since 1940, the year Nissan GTR was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Nissan GTR does not sleep. He waits.
Nissan GTR appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Nissan GTR built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Nissan GTR.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Nissan GTR smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
The chief export of Nissan GTR is pain.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Nissan GTR--more than meets the eye, Nissan GTR--robot in disguise," and starred Nissan GTR as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
Nissan GTR recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Nissan GTR is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
When Nissan GTR plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
There is no chin behind Nissan GTR' beard. There is only another fist.
When Nissan GTR sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Nissan GTR has not had to pay taxes ever.
Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Nissan GTR is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilizer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
Nissan GTR once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.
Nissan GTR has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Nissan GTR pajamas.
It takes Nissan GTR 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Cheers!
GeIS300 - Max
Great reads and discussions on the board.
Here's my contribution..................
Nissan GTR' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Nissan GTR can kill him and take it.
Nissan GTR once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Nissan GTR doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
If you ask Nissan GTR what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Nissan GTR instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
Nissan GTR sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Since 1940, the year Nissan GTR was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Nissan GTR does not sleep. He waits.
Nissan GTR appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Nissan GTR built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Nissan GTR.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Nissan GTR smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
The chief export of Nissan GTR is pain.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Nissan GTR--more than meets the eye, Nissan GTR--robot in disguise," and starred Nissan GTR as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
Nissan GTR recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Nissan GTR is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
When Nissan GTR plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
There is no chin behind Nissan GTR' beard. There is only another fist.
When Nissan GTR sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Nissan GTR has not had to pay taxes ever.
Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Nissan GTR is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilizer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
Nissan GTR once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.
Nissan GTR has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Nissan GTR pajamas.
It takes Nissan GTR 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Cheers!
GeIS300 - Max
Trending Topics
Lexus Fanatic
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 22,608
Likes: 105
From: Waiting for next track day
yup ! a bit weird. Some of them are funny but generally kind of strange. Probably because they were not meant for the GTR.
PS i just a white GTR on the street on the way back from lunch and I have to say the thing looks bad ***. What an amazing machine
PS i just a white GTR on the street on the way back from lunch and I have to say the thing looks bad ***. What an amazing machine
Lexus Fanatic
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 22,608
Likes: 105
From: Waiting for next track day
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
Overclocker
Car Chat
4
Jul 30, 2005 02:34 PM