Sounds like the IACV or even the MAF is shot. The IACV controls your idle speed. When things are turned on like your lights, radio, A/C, etc, the throttle opens a touch more to allow air. If the accessories are turned off, it closes up a touch. If your IACV is dirty or even malfunctioning, it literally chokes your car. You can clean the IACV by removing it, cleaning with Q-Tips and rags, then reinstall it. You might want to clean your TB a bit as well. Now, if it's your MAF, the car will die in a similar fashion. However, a MAF error will create a CEL light. I would check your codes at that point to see what it's telling you. I don't know what year your car is, but you can hook up a OBD2 scanner on vehicles 96+. If it's a 95 and older, you can actually get the codes with a paper clip. Do a search on these forums for the appropriate way to read codes on an OBD1 car. If you need help locating your IACV, let me know.