Prayers for my Favorite LS430 Passenger
09-16-11, 01:45 PM
#76
Recovering Lexus Addict
Thread Starter
Remarks I delivered at the memorial service for my wife:
I met Connie 19 years ago and we were married 16 years ago. About a year later, we both accepted Jesus Christ as our savior. Just a few weeks after that, Connie experienced a traumatic brain injury from which doctors predicted she would not survive, or at best, would exist in a persistent vegetative state. However, God had other plans for Connie and he gave us a wonderful gift for the next 15 years.
In February 1997, I didn't view what was about to happen as a gift. After 6 weeks in a coma and nearly 6 months at various in-patient facilities, Connie would soon be released to my care. I was scared. I saw how much work the aides and nurses did for her care. I had to remind her daily, no nearly hourly, who I was and that we were husband and wife. Little did I know how God would work with us.
Once home, our team of family and caregivers built a structured life for Connie. We helped her reacquire many of her activities of daily living and reconstruct her missing memories since about the late 1980s. Within a couple years, she could fairly reliably recognize me as her husband, which I thought was a definite improvement.
Through all of this blossomed a very special person. Connie had a positive affirmation for everyone she came into contact with. Every waitress, nurse, restaurant hostess, doctor, waiter, medical technician, cook, receptionist ... (Are you seeing a pattern here of her need for medical establishments and preference for dining establishments?) ... store clerk, and child was the prettiest, most handsome, most professional, or had the most beautiful eyes or beard of anyone in their field. (Beards and facial hair held a special attraction for her. No man with a beard was safe from a Connie tug.)
Some of her statements to strangers seemed, to those of us with limiting mental filters on our speech, inappropriate or embarrassing. However, I never saw anyone take her well-intentioned compliments the wrong way. In fact, people lit up with smiles around Connie. Her joyful compliments were the highlight of the day for a phlebotomist drawing blood, a waitress serving lunch, or a dental hygienist cleaning teeth. (I still don't know how the hygienists at our dentist ever cleaned and examined her teeth. I would schedule our semi-annual appointments at the same time. While I was in the chair responding to questions with "Uhh, mmm, ehh", I could clearly hear her a few cubicles over carrying on like she was catching up with a long-lost friend.)
Every morning when I entered her room, Connie greeted me with a loving compliment. She continued with the positive statements when her caregiver for the day arrived on weekday mornings. But it wasn't all lollipops and roses when she called for the bedpan for the 4th time in a night or insisted that she lost her cheeseburger and milkshake somewhere in the covers. Sometimes in my frustration I would forget that she was a gift from God. But Connie had the right outlook on life. Any day that ended in "Y" was a good day to go out to eat and the end of any meal was a good time for dessert. Any person who crossed her path deserved to receive a compliment or needed one to be cheered up. If she saw someone with an especially sour expression on their face she would often say something like "I'll bet you have a beautiful face when you smile." (Well, sometimes, it was more like "You'd look a lot prettier if you'd smile" and whomever was with her would then try to disappear into a crack in the sidewalk.)
Last year, Connie was diagnosed with an especially aggressive form of breast cancer. She endured months of chemotherapy, surgery, healing, and radiation treatments. Did that change her outlook on life? Well, maybe a little. Now, in appreciation, we needed to bring PIE to her treatment staff, PIE to her doctor and his staff, and PIE to her nurses in the hospital. A couple weeks ago in the hospital, Pastor Tim was greeted as "A sexy pastor" (or handsome in Pastor Tim's recollection). Last Friday, on a good day for her before she passed, her admitting physician, Dr. T, stood at the foot of her bed and asked her if she knew who he was. Through her oxygen mask, we all clearly heard her response "You're my sexy doctor!" She continued to bring joy to all of us through the pain, discomfort, and uncertainty.
We all had the opportunity to enjoy God's special gift known as Connie for the past 15 years. I consider myself to be especially blessed because I got to experience her joy every day (well, and at night looking for those missing sandwiches and drinks in her bed). Now God has decided to bring her special joy to heaven. However, if the prophets and Jesus still have their beards up there, they may have to watch out.
I met Connie 19 years ago and we were married 16 years ago. About a year later, we both accepted Jesus Christ as our savior. Just a few weeks after that, Connie experienced a traumatic brain injury from which doctors predicted she would not survive, or at best, would exist in a persistent vegetative state. However, God had other plans for Connie and he gave us a wonderful gift for the next 15 years.
In February 1997, I didn't view what was about to happen as a gift. After 6 weeks in a coma and nearly 6 months at various in-patient facilities, Connie would soon be released to my care. I was scared. I saw how much work the aides and nurses did for her care. I had to remind her daily, no nearly hourly, who I was and that we were husband and wife. Little did I know how God would work with us.
Once home, our team of family and caregivers built a structured life for Connie. We helped her reacquire many of her activities of daily living and reconstruct her missing memories since about the late 1980s. Within a couple years, she could fairly reliably recognize me as her husband, which I thought was a definite improvement.
Through all of this blossomed a very special person. Connie had a positive affirmation for everyone she came into contact with. Every waitress, nurse, restaurant hostess, doctor, waiter, medical technician, cook, receptionist ... (Are you seeing a pattern here of her need for medical establishments and preference for dining establishments?) ... store clerk, and child was the prettiest, most handsome, most professional, or had the most beautiful eyes or beard of anyone in their field. (Beards and facial hair held a special attraction for her. No man with a beard was safe from a Connie tug.)
Some of her statements to strangers seemed, to those of us with limiting mental filters on our speech, inappropriate or embarrassing. However, I never saw anyone take her well-intentioned compliments the wrong way. In fact, people lit up with smiles around Connie. Her joyful compliments were the highlight of the day for a phlebotomist drawing blood, a waitress serving lunch, or a dental hygienist cleaning teeth. (I still don't know how the hygienists at our dentist ever cleaned and examined her teeth. I would schedule our semi-annual appointments at the same time. While I was in the chair responding to questions with "Uhh, mmm, ehh", I could clearly hear her a few cubicles over carrying on like she was catching up with a long-lost friend.)
Every morning when I entered her room, Connie greeted me with a loving compliment. She continued with the positive statements when her caregiver for the day arrived on weekday mornings. But it wasn't all lollipops and roses when she called for the bedpan for the 4th time in a night or insisted that she lost her cheeseburger and milkshake somewhere in the covers. Sometimes in my frustration I would forget that she was a gift from God. But Connie had the right outlook on life. Any day that ended in "Y" was a good day to go out to eat and the end of any meal was a good time for dessert. Any person who crossed her path deserved to receive a compliment or needed one to be cheered up. If she saw someone with an especially sour expression on their face she would often say something like "I'll bet you have a beautiful face when you smile." (Well, sometimes, it was more like "You'd look a lot prettier if you'd smile" and whomever was with her would then try to disappear into a crack in the sidewalk.)
Last year, Connie was diagnosed with an especially aggressive form of breast cancer. She endured months of chemotherapy, surgery, healing, and radiation treatments. Did that change her outlook on life? Well, maybe a little. Now, in appreciation, we needed to bring PIE to her treatment staff, PIE to her doctor and his staff, and PIE to her nurses in the hospital. A couple weeks ago in the hospital, Pastor Tim was greeted as "A sexy pastor" (or handsome in Pastor Tim's recollection). Last Friday, on a good day for her before she passed, her admitting physician, Dr. T, stood at the foot of her bed and asked her if she knew who he was. Through her oxygen mask, we all clearly heard her response "You're my sexy doctor!" She continued to bring joy to all of us through the pain, discomfort, and uncertainty.
We all had the opportunity to enjoy God's special gift known as Connie for the past 15 years. I consider myself to be especially blessed because I got to experience her joy every day (well, and at night looking for those missing sandwiches and drinks in her bed). Now God has decided to bring her special joy to heaven. However, if the prophets and Jesus still have their beards up there, they may have to watch out.
09-16-11, 06:48 PM
#78
Wow, what a wonderfully written eulogy, what a tremendous testimony to a life
well lived.
Thanks for sharing this ... it will stay with me for a long time.
Good luck and God Bless in your journey.
well lived.
Thanks for sharing this ... it will stay with me for a long time.
Good luck and God Bless in your journey.
09-16-11, 07:48 PM
#79
Lead Lap
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Excellent eulogy man very well written, Connie sounded like an amazing person, just remember you will meet with her again someday and that is an amazing feeling
I have been praying for you and will continue too, stay strong.
I have been praying for you and will continue too, stay strong.
09-17-11, 12:08 PM
#81
Cad, Powerful bro powerful!! I make orthopedic braces and deal with folks with all sorts of neuromuscular challenges and I realize from your words how lucky I am to see such kind, pure, gentle appreciative people when it is easy to get frustrated. Again you are a teacher! Thru all your past posts we all realized you had some challenges with Connie but we never knew the extent of your selflessness.
To you my friend "the going gets tough the tough get going" you have done a great job.
To Connie "the meek shall inherit the earth".
Warm all over, Warm
To you my friend "the going gets tough the tough get going" you have done a great job.
To Connie "the meek shall inherit the earth".
Warm all over, Warm
09-17-11, 03:04 PM
#82
No, I don't play soccer!
caddy, that was a beautiful eulogy. Thank you for sharing and for reminding us to not take a single day for granted, to be grateful for what we have, and to accept life's challenges despite how difficult they may be. God truly blessed you with Connie.
09-17-11, 05:10 PM
#84
Thanks for sharing such a beautiful life and moments with us. I have sent your message to a couple who like you accepted Jesus as their savior but are going thru a rough patch in their marriage. I hope your message helps them.
Thank you and may God continue to bless you.
Thank you and may God continue to bless you.
