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The Worst-Named Cars of All Time

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Old 04-14-12, 11:23 PM   #1
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Arrow The Worst-Named Cars of All Time

Sometimes new players in the auto market just don't stand a chance. It isn't necessarily that they are offering bad cars (most are), but just the name alone seems intended to cause disaster in the showrooms. Whether it's ego, misplaced market research, or a language gap. These are some of the worst NAMED cars of all time, according to Fox News.

  1. Mohs Ostentatienne Opera Sedan - Commissioned by Wisconsin by Bruce Mohs, the Mohs Seaplane Corporation built the prototype for a line of custom-cars in 1969. Powered by an International Harvester truck engine (and apparently on an IH chassis), the 119-inch wheelbase monstrosity weighed in at just over 5,750 lbs. It featured a rear (only) entry, doors having been obviated by the solid steel perimeter beams designed to protect the occupants in a crash. Its target sales price was $25,600 - in 1969. The prototype was the only unit ever built, because the vehicle was simply ugly.

    Click the image to open in full size.

  2. Zimmer Quicksilver (1984-88) - the other name for mercury, was a product of Paul Zimmer of Zimmer Motorcars, builders of custom cars and trucks. Known for creating retro two-seat Cadillacs and over-the-top pickups, the Quicksilver would be the oddest attempt at a production custom - amid a sea of really strange looking creations in the Zimmer shops. Based on a Fiero (yes, Fiero), the Quicksilver looked like a mini-Cougar body grafted onto the Pontiac frame. All the worst of both worlds.

    Click the image to open in full size.

  3. Studebaker Dictator (1927-37) - can perhaps be forgiven because it was named slightly before Mussolini and Hitler received that appellation. It was meant to connote power and strength, and the car that would "dictate" the standard for all others, but history overtook it early on. The low-price leader among the higher lines, "Commander" and "President", the Dictator. Needless to say, it didn't sell well in Europe.

    Click the image to open in full size.

  4. Geely Beauty Leopard (2003) - A Chinese development, evidently by a non-English speaking committee who thought that the words "beauty" and "leopard" would infuse the car with the grace of the jungle cat. Not so much. The car did, however, make its mark in automotive history as the first to offer an in-car karaoke machine. Distracted drivers, take note.

    Click the image to open in full size.

  5. Mitsubishi MAUS (Mini Active Urban Sandal) (1995) conjurs up visions of either a flip-flop or a particularly Aryan mouse with domination issues. It never got beyond the platform of the Tokyo Auto Show in 1995, and perhaps with good reason. Given the success of the SMART with MB's backing, what could have possibly gone wrong with MitsuMaus?

    Click the image to open in full size.

  6. Isuzu Mysterious Utility Wizard (1991-2004) Isuzu has a history of producing reasonable light trucks and SUV's that look pretty much like their competitor's. Well, maybe they wanted the name to be distinctive. Got it.

    Click the image to open in full size.

  7. Honda That’s (2002-07) - The predecessor of a generation of Asian mini-breadvans, Honda went for the minimalist here, with a powerplant of under 650 cc, you'd better avoid hills or even deep potholes! A 3-speed automatic topped the package and toward the end of the production run Honda even offered a turbo for it. That's underwhelming.

    Click the image to open in full size.

  8. Mitsubishi Delica Space Gear (1994-2007) - This mommyvan for the deep woods may be what Toyota might have done with an Eddie Bauer edition. With 4WD and assorted brush bars, roof racks, tailgate ladders, and running boards, now you too can pimp your offroad ride.

    Click the image to open in full size.

  9. Datsun Fairlady (1959-70) - OK, while you're rolling around on the floor over someone actually naming a sportscar after a Broadway Musical, as though real sporty men loved show tunes. Believe it or not, the Fairlady, known in these parts as the "1500" took a page from the British sports car's playbook and beat them to death with it. It easily outperformed the vaunted MG's and TR's of its day and despite it's over-tall windshield and low beltline that had C&D calling it a "giraffe transporter", but after driving it they stopped laughing. So did a lot of their customers.

    Click the image to open in full size.

  10. Mazda Bongo Friendee (1995-2005) What do you think of when you read that name? Surely not a rather ordinary-looking minivan . . . and maybe that was Mazda's idea of attractive advertising - if not a particularly innovative product.

    Click the image to open in full size.
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Old 04-14-12, 11:38 PM   #2
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lol at the in car karaoke machine
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Old 04-15-12, 12:06 AM   #3
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Where's Mitsubishi Pajero? In Spain, the changed the name of the car to Montero for some reason.
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Old 04-15-12, 01:18 AM   #4
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They are called Montero's here as well Rash, in the mid 2000's they becaume kind of a cheaper luxo 'ute, before that they were basically a stripped down, basic Toyota Land Cruiser Prado.

For some reason my mind is telling me they were also a sister to the Isuzu Rodeo of the 80's/90's
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Old 04-15-12, 01:38 AM   #5
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^ Still Pajero here.
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Old 04-15-12, 02:22 AM   #6
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Fairlady is pretty lame.

Also, Buick Terraza, Plymouth Acclaim, Duster, Valiant, Dodge Colt Vista, Dart, Omni, Mercury Grand Marquis , "Datsun", AMC Gremlin, Toyota Previa, Rav 4, Chevy Vega, Astro, Ford Probe, Taurus, Crown Victoria, Pinto, Econoline, VW Thing, Passat, Touareg, Tiguan, Rabbit, Porsche Cayenne, Cadillac Catera, Saturn Vue, Nissan Pulsar, Pontiac Bonneville, the name Daewoo and all it's models, Hyundai Scoup, Acura Vigor, Isuzu Vehicross, and the worst, *Isuzu Hombre.*

Dumb engines/technology names: Ecoboost (oxymoron), Duratec, Vortec, Mivec, SkiActive, (Mercedes) WindScarf, Double Vanos, twin scroll
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Old 04-15-12, 05:07 AM   #7
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The fairlady is badged as a 370Z here in the US. Abroad they still badge the Z-Cars as "Fairlady-Z".
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Old 04-15-12, 07:54 AM   #8
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Harry Potter and the Mysterious Utility Wizard.
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Old 04-15-12, 01:03 PM   #9
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Volkswagen Thing.
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Old 04-15-12, 01:40 PM   #10
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Chevy Nova, Buick LaCrosse, Toyota Paseo, Toyota Van, Toyota Corolla, Suzuki Kizashi, Ford Pinto, Pontiac Aztek, Anything Sr-zztt RS GT V spec S 2.2 400, Chevy Celebrity, Fiat Viaggio, Hyundai, Tata, Geely, Volvo, Ford Fiesta, Hummer, Pagani Huayyyrairuuraaaru, VW Toureg, Daihatsu, Daihatsu Charade,

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Old 04-15-12, 04:03 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dj.ctwatt View Post
Chevy Nova, Buick LaCrosse, Toyota Paseo, Toyota Van, Toyota Corolla, Suzuki Kizashi, Ford Pinto, Pontiac Aztek, Anything Sr-zztt RS GT V spec S 2.2 400, Chevy Celebrity, Fiat Viaggio, Hyundai, Tata, Geely, Volvo, Ford Fiesta, Hummer, Pagani Huayyyrairuuraaaru, VW Toureg, Daihatsu, Daihatsu Charade,
Good list.

I forgot about the LaCrosse, which refers to an auto-erotic act in Canada.

And when you think about the literal meaning of Hummer, it has nothing to do with the rough and tough truck image.

I should have also added Buick Rondevous to the list too.
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Old 04-15-12, 04:29 PM   #12
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That Studebaker Dictator was a good looking car
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Old 04-15-12, 05:10 PM   #13
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I thought one of the silliest car names, in my lifetime (and I was a teen-ager back then) was the Rambler Scrambler compact muscle-car of the late 60's.

Click the image to open in full size.

One of the worst-names of modern times, IMO, is the confusing Lincoln family of MKX, MKS, MKT, and MKZ alphabet-soup. The Cadillac lineup is almost as bad.
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Old 04-15-12, 05:15 PM   #14
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Toyota Van should be on that list as well. LOL, what a boring/lame name. My family and I referred to it as the "turtle van". haha, good times, miss that old van.
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Old 04-15-12, 05:41 PM   #15
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Old audi's has dumb names, they weren't even names. Examples the Audi v8, the Audi Convertible, and the Audi Quattro
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Old 04-15-12, 05:41 PM
 
 
 
 
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1927, 1969, 37, active, dictator, maus, mini, mitsubishi, photo, rambler, sale, sandal, sc, scrambler, studebaker, urban

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