MPH Magazine 6/05: 10 Most Overrated Sports Cars
05-28-05, 01:02 PM
#1
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MPH Magazine 6/05: 10 Most Overrated Sports Cars
MPH is a new mag that actaully does not get a monthly fudge-packing from Honda and BMW. They are honest and are different from the usual car mags peopleread. I took it serious when a few months ago on the cover was "THE BIG RIPOFF" and they compared the 300C SRT-8 to the Bentley and showed the OBVIOUSLY stolen cues. It was a great article, showing fake vs real.
Here is another shake up article!
http://forums.thecarlounge.net/zerothread?id=2012829
Here is another shake up article!
Originally Posted by SMG
The article discusses "what the magazines said", and "what they left out". I only included the latter part.
1. Lamborghini Countach
What they left out: "The Countach might have done 200+ in some fevered Italian's dreams, but when actually tested it usually blew up around 180 mph. The wing blocks the 2 two inches of rear visibility this car ever had, leaving 190 degrees of blind spot, and the side mirrors just show fenders and airscoops. The doors barely lift up far enough for a lissome, 90-pound Chinese acrobat, and they fall down without warning to split open your skull. The controls are horribly heavy, the clutch can pack up every 3000 miles, and the shift linkage is cast out of old shoelaces and cake batter. Did we mention the front spoiler? It scrapes over pregnant amoebas."
2. Shelby 427 Cobra
What they left out: "The 427 Cobra was mysteriously hinky from day one. (This had something to do with putting a ridiculously huge engine in the nose.) The rear tires' grip on the pavement is about as solid as Jessica Simpson's grip on string theory, and it likes to swap ends as you pull out of your driveway. (It's also no fun when your $400,000 motorsports legend gets its *** kicked at the Shelby Club track day by some Elmer with a fiberglass kit car.)"
3. Plymouth Hemi 'Cuda
What they left out: "For Christ's sake, we're talking about a Plymouth-crappy plastics and rusty iron screwed together by some stoner with a UAW card. To 'sophistication of some smaller European designs' add 'circa 1916', and 'excellent handling (for a muscle car)' is analogous to 'fairly tolerant (for a ****).' It might also be worth noting that while Hemi 'Cudas are the flavor of the month at Barrett-Jackson today, no car made popular by a Don Johnson television series has ever kept its value for more than a year."
4. Big-Block Corvette
What they left out: "Zora hated these understeering porkers. They overheated faster than the wall of the girl's showers at Smallville High; what little balance the Corvette ever had was destroyed; and the added stress and vibration made pieces fall off the car even faster than they used to. It was just one more reason for Duntov to hate John DeLorean, who'd recently convinced GM to abandon its 50-year policy of making engine size bear some slight relationship to vehicle size, (DeLorean is now an angel in heaven, where every few minutes one of his wings suddenly droops down and slams itself shut.)"
5. BMW 507
What they left out: "Built on the chopped-up chassis of an overpriced, underpowered, overly complex sedan, the overpriced, underpowered, overly complex 507 cost more than a 300SL without any of the race wins or technology. Spare parts are still available, but mostly only on Pluto."
6. Lotus Esprit
What they left out: "The Esprit's most unlikely feat in The Spy Who Loved Me was starting every time Roger Moore turned the key. It's also amazing that Q found space for that extra junk, since Lotus couldn't figure out where to stuff in a working A/C. The Esprit's bodywork is made from a laminate of silicone glue and Shrinky Dinks, the anemic four-banger gives the acceleration of a K-Car, and the fuel system blurs the line between internal combustion and spontaneous combustion. Underpriced for an exotic; overpriced for a kit car."
7. Jaguar E-Type
What they left out: "Without a federal NSF grant, it's hard to imagine developing a chassis better designed for trapping water and promoting electrolysis. The early transmissions are unshiftable, the driving position was designed either for midgets or by sadists, and the clamshell hood only opens far enough to peel the flesh off the back of your head, not enough to actually get in there for twice-daily repairs. Rather than being drawn to the E's phallic styling, most women just say, 'Look at that Giant wiener.' Then they notice what you're driving."
8. Ferrari 250 GT
What they left out: "Ferrari's 3.0-liter V12 uses four times as many parts, a longer block, more mass, and 50 times as many dollars to make less power than a used Chevy small-block. Forty-year-old Ferraris stop and steer much like 30-year-old GMC pickups, and the constantly overdue valve job will run more than a new Kia. Owning a 250 also increases your likelihood of having to talk to Peter Sachs."
9. Nissan Skyline GT-R
What they left out: "The GT-R wouldn't need twin-turbos, all-wheel drive, four-wheel steering, and big intercoolers if it wasn't a heavy-*** piece of pork to begin with. And the feds ain't got nothing to do with it: Nissan never sent us the GT-R because out of the 12 people in America who'd actually spend 911 Turbo money on an outdated-looking Japanese coupe, six are in jail at any given time."
10. Maserati Ghibli
What they left out: "Heavy steering, squishy pedals, mushy gearchange, live rear axle on leaf springs...Daytona equivalent my ***. By washing the olive oil off all those old sardine cans before melting them down, the trained gibbons Maserait actually hired to build this thing accidentally removed its one source of rust protection. (Admittedly, the Ghibli's flat, unsupportive seats are ideal for the midlife crisis of the huskier gentleman.)"
1. Lamborghini Countach
What they left out: "The Countach might have done 200+ in some fevered Italian's dreams, but when actually tested it usually blew up around 180 mph. The wing blocks the 2 two inches of rear visibility this car ever had, leaving 190 degrees of blind spot, and the side mirrors just show fenders and airscoops. The doors barely lift up far enough for a lissome, 90-pound Chinese acrobat, and they fall down without warning to split open your skull. The controls are horribly heavy, the clutch can pack up every 3000 miles, and the shift linkage is cast out of old shoelaces and cake batter. Did we mention the front spoiler? It scrapes over pregnant amoebas."
2. Shelby 427 Cobra
What they left out: "The 427 Cobra was mysteriously hinky from day one. (This had something to do with putting a ridiculously huge engine in the nose.) The rear tires' grip on the pavement is about as solid as Jessica Simpson's grip on string theory, and it likes to swap ends as you pull out of your driveway. (It's also no fun when your $400,000 motorsports legend gets its *** kicked at the Shelby Club track day by some Elmer with a fiberglass kit car.)"
3. Plymouth Hemi 'Cuda
What they left out: "For Christ's sake, we're talking about a Plymouth-crappy plastics and rusty iron screwed together by some stoner with a UAW card. To 'sophistication of some smaller European designs' add 'circa 1916', and 'excellent handling (for a muscle car)' is analogous to 'fairly tolerant (for a ****).' It might also be worth noting that while Hemi 'Cudas are the flavor of the month at Barrett-Jackson today, no car made popular by a Don Johnson television series has ever kept its value for more than a year."
4. Big-Block Corvette
What they left out: "Zora hated these understeering porkers. They overheated faster than the wall of the girl's showers at Smallville High; what little balance the Corvette ever had was destroyed; and the added stress and vibration made pieces fall off the car even faster than they used to. It was just one more reason for Duntov to hate John DeLorean, who'd recently convinced GM to abandon its 50-year policy of making engine size bear some slight relationship to vehicle size, (DeLorean is now an angel in heaven, where every few minutes one of his wings suddenly droops down and slams itself shut.)"
5. BMW 507
What they left out: "Built on the chopped-up chassis of an overpriced, underpowered, overly complex sedan, the overpriced, underpowered, overly complex 507 cost more than a 300SL without any of the race wins or technology. Spare parts are still available, but mostly only on Pluto."
6. Lotus Esprit
What they left out: "The Esprit's most unlikely feat in The Spy Who Loved Me was starting every time Roger Moore turned the key. It's also amazing that Q found space for that extra junk, since Lotus couldn't figure out where to stuff in a working A/C. The Esprit's bodywork is made from a laminate of silicone glue and Shrinky Dinks, the anemic four-banger gives the acceleration of a K-Car, and the fuel system blurs the line between internal combustion and spontaneous combustion. Underpriced for an exotic; overpriced for a kit car."
7. Jaguar E-Type
What they left out: "Without a federal NSF grant, it's hard to imagine developing a chassis better designed for trapping water and promoting electrolysis. The early transmissions are unshiftable, the driving position was designed either for midgets or by sadists, and the clamshell hood only opens far enough to peel the flesh off the back of your head, not enough to actually get in there for twice-daily repairs. Rather than being drawn to the E's phallic styling, most women just say, 'Look at that Giant wiener.' Then they notice what you're driving."
8. Ferrari 250 GT
What they left out: "Ferrari's 3.0-liter V12 uses four times as many parts, a longer block, more mass, and 50 times as many dollars to make less power than a used Chevy small-block. Forty-year-old Ferraris stop and steer much like 30-year-old GMC pickups, and the constantly overdue valve job will run more than a new Kia. Owning a 250 also increases your likelihood of having to talk to Peter Sachs."
9. Nissan Skyline GT-R
What they left out: "The GT-R wouldn't need twin-turbos, all-wheel drive, four-wheel steering, and big intercoolers if it wasn't a heavy-*** piece of pork to begin with. And the feds ain't got nothing to do with it: Nissan never sent us the GT-R because out of the 12 people in America who'd actually spend 911 Turbo money on an outdated-looking Japanese coupe, six are in jail at any given time."
10. Maserati Ghibli
What they left out: "Heavy steering, squishy pedals, mushy gearchange, live rear axle on leaf springs...Daytona equivalent my ***. By washing the olive oil off all those old sardine cans before melting them down, the trained gibbons Maserait actually hired to build this thing accidentally removed its one source of rust protection. (Admittedly, the Ghibli's flat, unsupportive seats are ideal for the midlife crisis of the huskier gentleman.)"
05-28-05, 04:03 PM
#4
I like the comment about the lambo doors and needing to be acrobat to get out and them unexpectedly slamming you in the head. I wonder if all these lambo door conversions on cars and SUVs perform the same way 
05-28-05, 06:06 PM
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Great article. Is this a monthly/weekly/quarterly magazine? I love unbiased writers who have some wit to through in with their writing.
Did they have a similar article on the best/most underrated sports cars?
James
Did they have a similar article on the best/most underrated sports cars?
James
05-28-05, 07:47 PM
#7
Lexus Fanatic
I can't comment on some of these cars because I have not inspected them or driven them, but I CAN for others. They are especially right on about the HemiCuda and Corvette. The Corvette was a unreliable, sloppily-assembled rattletrap from Day One, despite its macho image, and the HemiCuda, like virtually all of the late 60's-early 70's vintage Chrysler products, had a good engine and automatic transmission (the manual was a joke) but woefully poor fit-and-finish despite bright, bold graphics. You could tell even blindfolded (as I did) when a Chrysler-built door was shut just from the sound.......there would be a loud but tinny " Thwack " sound followed by the window pane rattling inside the door assembly. I once sat in a 1970 Dodge Polara in the showroom......I was inspecting new cars even in those days.........and when I pulled the center armrest down it fell right out of the seat onto the floor. When the window went up with the hand crank (basically only luxury cars had power windows back then) it pulled the weatherstripping right out with it. I'm not kidding...cars were actually delivered in this condition....just ask Consumer Reports.
Ahhhhh....the good old days. And to think....these were the cars I grew up with.
Ahhhhh....the good old days. And to think....these were the cars I grew up with.
Last edited by mmarshall; 05-28-05 at 07:57 PM.
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06-28-06, 10:43 PM
#8
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Posts: n/a
Top Ten Most Overrated Sports Cars of all Time
Originally Posted by drunkenmonkey
Let me just say that I did not write this, but merely found it amusing.
1. Lamborghini Countach
What they left out: "The Countach might have done 200+ in some fevered Italian's dreams, but when actually tested it usually blew up around 180 mph. The wing blocks the 2 two inches of rear visibility this car ever had, leaving 190 degrees of blind spot, and the side mirrors just show fenders and airscoops. The doors barely lift up far enough for a lissome, 90-pound Chinese acrobat, and they fall down without warning to split open your skull. The controls are horribly heavy, the clutch can pack up every 3000 miles, and the shift linkage is cast out of old shoelaces and cake batter. Did we mention the front spoiler? It scrapes over pregnant amoebas."
2. Shelby 427 Cobra
What they left out: "The 427 Cobra was mysteriously hinky from day one. (This had something to do with putting a ridiculously huge engine in the nose.) The rear tires' grip on the pavement is about as solid as Jessica Simpson's grip on string theory, and it likes to swap ends as you pull out of your driveway. (It's also no fun when your $400,000 motorsports legend gets its *** kicked at the Shelby Club track day by some Elmer with a fiberglass kit car.)"
3. Plymouth Hemi 'Cuda
What they left out: "For Christ's sake, we're talking about a Plymouth-crappy plastics and rusty iron screwed together by some stoner with a UAW card. To 'sophistication of some smaller European designs' add 'circa 1916', and 'excellent handling (for a muscle car)' is analogous to 'fairly tolerant (for a ****).' It might also be worth noting that while Hemi 'Cudas are the flavor of the month at Barrett-Jackson today, no car made popular by a Don Johnson television series has ever kept its value for more than a year."
4. Big-Block Corvette
What they left out: "Zora hated these understeering porkers. They overheated faster than the wall of the girl's showers at Smallville High; what little balance the Corvette ever had was destroyed; and the added stress and vibration made pieces fall off the car even faster than they used to. It was just one more reason for Duntov to hate John DeLorean, who'd recently convinced GM to abandon its 50-year policy of making engine size bear some slight relationship to vehicle size, (DeLorean is now an angel in heaven, where every few minutes one of his wings suddenly droops down and slams itself shut.)"
5. BMW 507
What they left out: "Built on the chopped-up chassis of an overpriced, underpowered, overly complex sedan, the overpriced, underpowered, overly complex 507 cost more than a 300SL without any of the race wins or technology. Spare parts are still available, but mostly only on Pluto."
6. Lotus Esprit
What they left out: "The Esprit's most unlikely feat in The Spy Who Loved Me was starting every time Roger Moore turned the key. It's also amazing that Q found space for that extra junk, since Lotus couldn't figure out where to stuff in a working A/C. The Esprit's bodywork is made from a laminate of silicone glue and Shrinky Dinks, the anemic four-banger gives the acceleration of a K-Car, and the fuel system blurs the line between internal combustion and spontaneous combustion. Underpriced for an exotic; overpriced for a kit car."
7. Jaguar E-Type
What they left out: "Without a federal NSF grant, it's hard to imagine developing a chassis better designed for trapping water and promoting electrolysis. The early transmissions are unshiftable, the driving position was designed either for midgets or by sadists, and the clamshell hood only opens far enough to peel the flesh off the back of your head, not enough to actually get in there for twice-daily repairs. Rather than being drawn to the E's phallic styling, most women just say, 'Look at that Giant wiener.' Then they notice what you're driving."
8. Ferrari 250 GT
What they left out: "Ferrari's 3.0-liter V12 uses four times as many parts, a longer block, more mass, and 50 times as many dollars to make less power than a used Chevy small-block. Forty-year-old Ferraris stop and steer much like 30-year-old GMC pickups, and the constantly overdue valve job will run more than a new Kia. Owning a 250 also increases your likelihood of having to talk to Peter Sachs."
9. Nissan Skyline GT-R
What they left out: "The GT-R wouldn't need twin-turbos, all-wheel drive, four-wheel steering, and big intercoolers if it wasn't a heavy-*** piece of pork to begin with. And the feds ain't got nothing to do with it: Nissan never sent us the GT-R because out of the 12 people in America who'd actually spend 911 Turbo money on an outdated-looking Japanese coupe, six are in jail at any given time."
10. Maserati Ghibli
What they left out: "Heavy steering, squishy pedals, mushy gearchange, live rear axle on leaf springs...Daytona equivalent my ***. By washing the olive oil off all those old sardine cans before melting them down, the trained gibbons Maserati actually hired to build this thing accidentally removed its one source of rust protection. (Admittedly, the Ghibli's flat, unsupportive seats are ideal for the midlife crisis of the huskier gentleman.)"
1. Lamborghini Countach
What they left out: "The Countach might have done 200+ in some fevered Italian's dreams, but when actually tested it usually blew up around 180 mph. The wing blocks the 2 two inches of rear visibility this car ever had, leaving 190 degrees of blind spot, and the side mirrors just show fenders and airscoops. The doors barely lift up far enough for a lissome, 90-pound Chinese acrobat, and they fall down without warning to split open your skull. The controls are horribly heavy, the clutch can pack up every 3000 miles, and the shift linkage is cast out of old shoelaces and cake batter. Did we mention the front spoiler? It scrapes over pregnant amoebas."
2. Shelby 427 Cobra
What they left out: "The 427 Cobra was mysteriously hinky from day one. (This had something to do with putting a ridiculously huge engine in the nose.) The rear tires' grip on the pavement is about as solid as Jessica Simpson's grip on string theory, and it likes to swap ends as you pull out of your driveway. (It's also no fun when your $400,000 motorsports legend gets its *** kicked at the Shelby Club track day by some Elmer with a fiberglass kit car.)"
3. Plymouth Hemi 'Cuda
What they left out: "For Christ's sake, we're talking about a Plymouth-crappy plastics and rusty iron screwed together by some stoner with a UAW card. To 'sophistication of some smaller European designs' add 'circa 1916', and 'excellent handling (for a muscle car)' is analogous to 'fairly tolerant (for a ****).' It might also be worth noting that while Hemi 'Cudas are the flavor of the month at Barrett-Jackson today, no car made popular by a Don Johnson television series has ever kept its value for more than a year."
4. Big-Block Corvette
What they left out: "Zora hated these understeering porkers. They overheated faster than the wall of the girl's showers at Smallville High; what little balance the Corvette ever had was destroyed; and the added stress and vibration made pieces fall off the car even faster than they used to. It was just one more reason for Duntov to hate John DeLorean, who'd recently convinced GM to abandon its 50-year policy of making engine size bear some slight relationship to vehicle size, (DeLorean is now an angel in heaven, where every few minutes one of his wings suddenly droops down and slams itself shut.)"
5. BMW 507
What they left out: "Built on the chopped-up chassis of an overpriced, underpowered, overly complex sedan, the overpriced, underpowered, overly complex 507 cost more than a 300SL without any of the race wins or technology. Spare parts are still available, but mostly only on Pluto."
6. Lotus Esprit
What they left out: "The Esprit's most unlikely feat in The Spy Who Loved Me was starting every time Roger Moore turned the key. It's also amazing that Q found space for that extra junk, since Lotus couldn't figure out where to stuff in a working A/C. The Esprit's bodywork is made from a laminate of silicone glue and Shrinky Dinks, the anemic four-banger gives the acceleration of a K-Car, and the fuel system blurs the line between internal combustion and spontaneous combustion. Underpriced for an exotic; overpriced for a kit car."
7. Jaguar E-Type
What they left out: "Without a federal NSF grant, it's hard to imagine developing a chassis better designed for trapping water and promoting electrolysis. The early transmissions are unshiftable, the driving position was designed either for midgets or by sadists, and the clamshell hood only opens far enough to peel the flesh off the back of your head, not enough to actually get in there for twice-daily repairs. Rather than being drawn to the E's phallic styling, most women just say, 'Look at that Giant wiener.' Then they notice what you're driving."
8. Ferrari 250 GT
What they left out: "Ferrari's 3.0-liter V12 uses four times as many parts, a longer block, more mass, and 50 times as many dollars to make less power than a used Chevy small-block. Forty-year-old Ferraris stop and steer much like 30-year-old GMC pickups, and the constantly overdue valve job will run more than a new Kia. Owning a 250 also increases your likelihood of having to talk to Peter Sachs."
9. Nissan Skyline GT-R
What they left out: "The GT-R wouldn't need twin-turbos, all-wheel drive, four-wheel steering, and big intercoolers if it wasn't a heavy-*** piece of pork to begin with. And the feds ain't got nothing to do with it: Nissan never sent us the GT-R because out of the 12 people in America who'd actually spend 911 Turbo money on an outdated-looking Japanese coupe, six are in jail at any given time."
10. Maserati Ghibli
What they left out: "Heavy steering, squishy pedals, mushy gearchange, live rear axle on leaf springs...Daytona equivalent my ***. By washing the olive oil off all those old sardine cans before melting them down, the trained gibbons Maserati actually hired to build this thing accidentally removed its one source of rust protection. (Admittedly, the Ghibli's flat, unsupportive seats are ideal for the midlife crisis of the huskier gentleman.)"
Taken from myis.
06-28-06, 10:51 PM
#9
Super Moderator
06-29-06, 04:01 AM
#12
Lexus Fanatic
I grew up with three of these cars.....the Shelby 427, the big-block ' Vette, and the Hemicuda.
The Shelby 427 Cobra was one of the primary reasons we ended up getting headrests standard in all new cars by the late 60's. This car was SO fast when you mashed the pedal at low speeds ( even with spinning rear tires you took off like a rocket ) that if you didn't have your head braced on something ( and there wasn't much to brace it on ) your skull and neck would snap back and you were a good candidate for whiplash. The guys in their 427 triple-carb ' Vettes thought they were hot-s * * t until the Cobras would come out and blow their doors off.
The 426 dual-quad Hemicuda was also slightly faster then the 427 Vette in stock form.....a couple of tenths in the quarter-mile on average...and the Mopar muscle cars of that era had some wild paint colors and graphics. But like the article says, the fit-and-finish and unbelievably sloppy assembly on Chrysler products back then would make you throw up. These cars, more than any others, make me realize how spoiled we are today by the kind of quality we see on the better Japanese cars....especially Lexus and Acura.
The Corvette DID have one good feature, though, that the article doesn't mention. Its fiberglass body, though difficult and expensive to paint and repair, offered protection against something that tended to plague a lot of the cars of that era.....body rust. That was one of the primary reasons for their low depreciation and high demand as used cars.
The Jag XKE was indeed gorgeous to look at, but while it didn't suffer the Chrysler products' woefully poor fit-and-finish, cheap materials, and sloppy assembly, in service, in the British tradition, it was even MORE unreliable. This was one of the cars that helped coin all of the jokes about Jaguar unreliability and catching fire.
The Shelby 427 Cobra was one of the primary reasons we ended up getting headrests standard in all new cars by the late 60's. This car was SO fast when you mashed the pedal at low speeds ( even with spinning rear tires you took off like a rocket ) that if you didn't have your head braced on something ( and there wasn't much to brace it on ) your skull and neck would snap back and you were a good candidate for whiplash. The guys in their 427 triple-carb ' Vettes thought they were hot-s * * t until the Cobras would come out and blow their doors off.
The 426 dual-quad Hemicuda was also slightly faster then the 427 Vette in stock form.....a couple of tenths in the quarter-mile on average...and the Mopar muscle cars of that era had some wild paint colors and graphics. But like the article says, the fit-and-finish and unbelievably sloppy assembly on Chrysler products back then would make you throw up. These cars, more than any others, make me realize how spoiled we are today by the kind of quality we see on the better Japanese cars....especially Lexus and Acura.
The Corvette DID have one good feature, though, that the article doesn't mention. Its fiberglass body, though difficult and expensive to paint and repair, offered protection against something that tended to plague a lot of the cars of that era.....body rust. That was one of the primary reasons for their low depreciation and high demand as used cars.
The Jag XKE was indeed gorgeous to look at, but while it didn't suffer the Chrysler products' woefully poor fit-and-finish, cheap materials, and sloppy assembly, in service, in the British tradition, it was even MORE unreliable. This was one of the cars that helped coin all of the jokes about Jaguar unreliability and catching fire.
Last edited by mmarshall; 06-29-06 at 04:12 AM.
