Sorry to hear about your experience. Unfortunately, you will find business practices in this country place less value on civility, respect, or integrity than what you are used to. I lived in Europe for 15 years and hence feel I can compare.
I recently bought an RX by submitting a request for a quote through Edmunds. I expected to get 3 to 5 offers through email, pick the best one and off I go. Instead, few of the so-called internet managers were willing to make me an offer outright - they all wanted me to come in and negotiate. I think this internet thing worked well when relatively few buyers used it and dealers wanted their business as a novelty. Now that it is prevalent, they see it as a threat to their core dealership business - where they have the upper hand since they are more skilled at negotiation than most buyers - and hence treat internet customers the same way they treat those that come into the dealership.
I ended up buying from one of the dealerships I contacted through Edmunds. The sales guy was flaky and I experienced some of the same things you did - I would leave a message for the guy who would then ignore it for 3 days - but in the meantime I would get daily calls from another guy in the same dealership. He even stood me up for an appointment I made with him to come in and test drive the car. I thought about walking away for these reasons alone - but I have learned to be more pragmatic about these things. I am sure that if I tried 5 different dealerships, I would eventually find a guy I would like - I just don't have the time. Still - it is shocking that in this economic environment, a sales guy cannot be bothered to return the call of a potential customer.
Lastly, don't expect to deal with a better, more intelligent or more honest sales guy just because you are buying a $50K car. The utility of sales people to the dealer is in the volume they drive - not how smart or nice they are. The best sales guy I ever had was the guy that sold me my very first car, which cost about a third of the RX.
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